The Happiness Project: I Hate Self-Help Books But Love This One

I wondered out to look at the mail, and there it was, the result of Gretchen's Rubin's year long quest to make herself happier. "The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun."  Frankly, perhaps because I was a psychology major for ten years (through my PhD in Organizational Psychology), most self-help books make me want to vomit.  But once I started reading Gretchen's book, I couldn't stop because -- unlike all those books that seem to tell fake stories about others or promise too much or are too sappy -- Gretchen's compelling voice, great stories, and first person-perspective (and brutal self-assessments at times, few of us are as aware or as open about our imperfections) make the book simply irresistible.

I cheated and read the first and last chapters and have now worked through most of the rest of the book (I am supposed to be writing several letters of recommendation right now and doing some work on my book, but this is making me much happier).  This is the rare book that is remarkably conceptually and empirically sound (she really knows research on happiness well), linked to great literature and other writings, but somehow at every stage is tied to her experience in a way that made me introspective, but I thought in a constructive rather than selfish way. 

I don't want to give away too much, as really, you deserve to give yourself the gift of reading the book.  I first put in a few quotes from the book in this post, and then decided to take them out, as I think that presenting them out of context undermines the flow of emotion and logic that hit me as I read paragraph upon paragraph. I would also add that her voice is similar to her blog, but in reading her book, you can see why the daily rhythms of writing a blog can never replace a great book (even one based partly on a blog)-- it comes across as a complete and emotionally satisfying story, and ends with a set of lessons (and a lovely twist about the effect of the project on her husband) that both sides of my brain believe will make me -- and those I care about --  happier as we travel through life.  

As I suggest in the title of this post, The Happiness Project might be the perfect self-help book for people like me who hate self-help books. 

P.S. The book comes out December 29th.  Reading it strikes me as a great way to start the year.

Comments

[T Bellows]

Seriously I am not liking this book. Get a life, Gretchen! Everyone seems to love this book, am I reading the same one? Much ado about nothing.

[kyle white]

Hi Dr. Sutton, you might also find the works of Dr. Greg Cynaumon interesting. He authored some Self-help and personality development books.

[Denise Burks]

Dear Dr. Sutton,

I love Sunday mornings, my husband and I sit at the kitchen table reading through the newspaper, every now and then reading out loud to one another. Today, after browsing The Book Review section, looking for The NYTimes review of Gretchin's book The Happiness Project, of which I am a big fan and follower. I didn't spot a review so I grabbed my laptop (the quickest way to find a review, in my mind) which is how I found you. Instead of finding a review, per se, I found your blog. So this morning I read and re-read, outloud to my hubby, excerpts from your work.

It made us happy!

Warmest Regards,

Denise Burks

http://www.successinthesuburbs.blogspot.com/

[Tammy Squires]

I can't wait to read this book. I think everyone needs more happiness in their lives. When life is SO busy it is easy to forget all the simple things that truly make you happy. Thanks Kerry for introducing me to this book.

[Janardan mishra]

I wish I could read this book. But I can not afford to buy.

[K. Abbas]

To CAL:
He said he was wondering out to look at the "mail", not "mall".

[CAL]

I don't understand.. you wandered out to the mall and saw Gretchen's book, yet it doesn't come out for another week yet. How does that happen? Or did you actually recieve an advance copy, not from the mall but from a distributor to bloggers/reviewers? I think this effects your credibility. You should remove the sentence about seeing it at the mall. Anyway... I love Gretchen's blog, but was disappointed by the preview chapters.

[Howard Fortson]

A must view is the TED talk on Synthetic Happiness. It will really make you think if you are not already. Link: http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/97

[Catherine Mulcahey]

Keep up the mutual back-patting. Pretending to be neutral about something you really like is just as dishonest as sounding noncommittal about something you hate.

[Kim Scott]

I wholeheartedly agree--the world would be a better place if everyone read the Happiness Project. What a gift Gretchen has given all of us in writing it!

[Bob Sutton]

KG,

Sorry, I will try to control my enthusiasm. I actually have never even met Gretchen, but -- for better or worse -- I am a pretty emotional person. I tend to love things or despise them, and sometimes it comes out. I had a very strong reaction to her book because it was so authentic and moved me personally because the voice was so strong and elements were woven together so well. We do not have mutual promotion pact of any kind, I just was struck by her book. For better and worse, I seem to travel through life following William Saroyan's advice:"“Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.” It is probably bad advice for some situations and I go get in trouble at times, but I often can't help myself.

[kg]

Bob,
I enjoy both your blog and Gretchen's and in fact discovered one of you from the other's writings. That said, lately you're both fawning way too much over each other. You both write great stuff but this mutual back-patting is making it hard to find you credible.

Keep fighting the good fight!

[Gretchen Rubin]

Bob!
Thank you for these incredibly nice words. I respect your work so much; I'm thrilled to read your response to The Happiness Project. You made me very HAPPY!
--Gretchen

[Britty]

Dr. Sutton, I've followed your work since the day I snagged an advance copy of The No Asshole Rule. I have also read Ms. Rubin's blog with great pleasure this past year. Between your recommendation and her own work, I can say...Sold!