Bob Sutton

Porcupines With Hearts of Gold Over at BusinessWeek.com

As I wrote a few weeks back, BusinessWeek is trying an experiment where they are using blogs and comments on blogs to produce material for a forthcoming double-issue on the workplace.  So I have been blogging a bit in the section on toxic bosses. My editor there, Michele Conlin, tells me that the blogging part of this experiment is winding down and they are now moving toward selecting and editing the content. She especially liked the story about the "Asshole Boxing" methods used by the salesman with an asshole boss. I also put up a new post over there yesterday on "porcupines with hearts of gold," which argues that it is wise to be slow to label people as assholes, in part, because some people have rough exteriors but are great people once you get past the initial impression. I am very curious to see how the special issue comes out, and in any event, I have to give BusinessWeek credit for having the courage to experiment with something new.

The No Asshole Rule for Doctors: Hospitals Will Risk Losing Accreditation

I've written here and in The No Asshole Rule about how physicians are among the worst bullies, and also, about how when people around them (especially nurses) fear that they will be bullied for pointing-out mistakes by doctors, that the lack of psychological safety leads to more mistakes (and also drives good people out of nursing and other medical professions).  I have seen this kind of bullying first hand (see this post about Dr. Gooser) as well. And see this post too about an asshole infested hospital. It appears that with this recent court ruling against a bullying doctor and, more recently, with is new set of guidelines for hospitals for the Joint Commission, which accredits most U.S. hospitals, that the pressure against asshole doctors is mounting. I quote from this AP story:

'CHICAGO - Bullying doctors can make nurses afraid to question their performance, resulting in medical errors, according to a hospital group that announced new requirements for cracking down on intimidating behavior.

Outbursts and condescending language threaten patient safety and increase the cost of care, according to a safety alert issued Wednesday by the Joint Commission, an independent organization that accredits most of the nation's hospitals.

Hospitals will be required by next year to have codes of conduct and processes for dealing with inappropriate behavior by staff, said the group's president, Dr. Mark Chassin. Hospitals without such systems risk losing their accreditation, he said.

Powerful doctors mean money for hospitals because they choose where to admit their patients, but they "should not be left off the hook," said Dr. Peter Angood, vice president of the group, which is based in suburban Chicago.

Grena Porto, a nurse involved in the group's efforts, said nurses need to be "appropriately assertive" and feel safe enough to ask a doctor, "Are you sure we're supposed to operate on the right leg, rather than the left?"

Nurses, pharmacists and hospital administrators also can be culprits, but it's the doctors who bully nurses that are the most significant for patient safety, said Dr. Alan Rosenstein, a researcher on the topic. He applauded the group's action.'

The No Asshole Rule as “Like Garlic to a Vampire.”

I just got an interesting note about how one person uses The No Asshole Rule as a defensive tool at work. I have edited his email a bit for length and to protect the innocent (and the guilty):

“I'm currently working in a pretty toxic office that has a certified A-Hole in a senior management position. Even though this person should be a professional colleague and teammate, this person has gone out of her way to be rude, dismissive, and insulting, using all of the techniques you cover in your book. Her attacks are largely targeted at me for some unknown reason. I've never done anything to her or said anything offensive to her or about her to others. I've tried on several occasions to reach out to her with my assistance on projects where I have significant expertise, but she has quite rudely dismissed all my attempts to try and work with her as a teammate.

 I noticed an interesting phenomenon when I started leaving your book on the front of my desk. Her attacks seem to become less frequent after she noticed the title of the book (like garlic to a vampire). Until I am ready to move on to a more civilized workplace, I am employing your A-Hole avoidance practices to minimize exposure to her toxic attitude. They are working well and have made coming to work a more tolerable experience. I am also working hard to catch any A-Hole behavior that I may be about to perpetrate against others in the office. The best way I know is to try and stay humble and not let my ego fly out of control. It really is a shame to see how this one person is killing morale and productivity in our office.

 This really could be a great place to work. The problem is that this person is a typical know-it-all who actually does know quite a bit. Her ego is too big to admit when she does not know something and she goes into A-Hole mode to blame other people when things go wrong, or don't go her way.”

 It sounds to me like this manager is handling this quite maturely and wisely – applying many of the tips for people who are trapped with an asshole boss or in a nasty workplace, with the ultimate goal being to get out. I would also love to hear from other people who have used the book as a defensive shield, or in other ways, at work.

Free Erasers: All Gone!

Sorry!

The erasers all gone! If you got your request in before 3 Pacific Time, you will get an eraser.  Otherwise, I am sorry, they are all gone.

Thanks,

Bob

Asshole Rating Self-Exam (ARSE) Update

As I wrote over at the BusinessWeek site on toxic bosses, the ARSE or Asshole Rating Self-Exam continues to be used -- this little self-test was taken from Chapter 4 of The No Asshole Rule. Guy Kawasaki put it on his blog, and came-up with that great name. I still have people introduce themselves with their number on the test, like "Hi, my name is Joe, and I am a 3." (A"0" would be someone who reports not a single asshole behavior; a "24" reports being an asshole in 24 different ways, like "You secretely enjoy watching other people suffer and squirm.").  I just got an update from Emily at Electric Pulp and she reports that we are closing in on 160,000 completions (158, 411).  And the average person "scores" a 6.48, which I would call a "borderline certified asshole." So, the self-examation continues.

P.S. Emily also gave me an update for the ACHE, the Asshole Client from Hell Exam (you can read aboout the orgin of it here).  It has been completed by 12,485 people who rate their nasty clients, with an average score of 14.3.  As this is a list of only 20 nasty client behaviors, this means the average respondent finds that his or her client is a certified asshole.

Free Asshole Rule Erasers! 100 to Give Away

SORRY THEY ARE GONE

One of the little marketing gimmicks used by my publisher was to give away free "no asshole rule" erasers when the book first came out. People still talk to me about them and keep asking for them, but I had given away all but a small personal supply.  My publisher was kind enough to make-up another batch -- the front and back of the new version is pictured above. If you want to see the original, look here. I am going to give a bunch away at my forthcoming AlwaysOn talk (there is a steep admission fee, but the live streaming video is free). I thought it would also be fun to share some erasers with readers of this blog.  And my 12 year-old daughter Eve is looking a bit bored today, and this seems like a perfect project.

So, if you send me an email to my gmail account, bobsutton54@gmail.com, and include your address. My daughter (who has much better handwriting than I do) will address the envelope and send you in an eraser. I promise I will delete the addresses after we get the envelopes out, as I despise SPAM and telemarketers as much as you do. I will let you know when we hit 100 and the give away is over.

P.S. In the name of honest advertising, note the actual eraser is smaller than that pictured.

Give Yourself Time to Take Back Your Words: How to Delay Outlook Emails After Hitting "Send"

I wrote a recent post called A Cautionary Tale: Watch the Email, about a Dean in Florida who apparently lost his job -- in part -- because he sent out a very nasty email, which was then leaked to the press.  I talked about a great IT guy I know who has his email set-up to delay emails for a few minutes after hitting the send button -- allowing him time to change his mind before it is sent.  His name is Tim Keely and he just sent me an email with a link that explains how to do this in Microsoft Outlook.  It isn't exactly simple, but I am going to go through the steps anyway as, I confess, there are times when I wish I had taken time to cool-off after hitting the "send" button, and could take back my words. Here are the steps. Thanks Tim!

I Wonder Where They Got This Idea?

As they say, imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. I do, however, agree with Jon Gordon's general premise in The No Complaining Rule (as I understand it...I have just read through the chapter titles and jacket, and glanced through the book).  On this point, my favorite maverick, Annette Kyle, led one of the most impressive organizational transformations I've ever heard of at a loading terminal in Bayport, Texas (This is described in the prior link, and in detail in The Knowing-Doing Gap and Weird Ideas That Work).   One of the actions that Annette took was to sew "no whining patches" on employees uniforms, on the theory that if something was wrong, people should try to fix it rather than complain about it, if that didn't work, they should come to management and they should try to fix it together.  When the problem was impossible to change, however,  then her view was that it was a constraint that they just needed to work around.  In such cases, constant complaining about something they couldn't change, Annette argued, was poison because it made people depressed and diverted energy away from problems that they could solve.  

Yet I do worry that this new book, and even Annette's patches, are the kind of thing that can backfire in the wrong hands, unwittingly stifling people from pointing out problems that need to be fixed.  The no complaining rule may create fear of being labeled as a complainer or whiner, even when a person has legitimate concerns.  People need to feel psychologically safe to speak-up, or you end-up with disasters like the Columbia and Challenger space shuttle accidents. See this post about "shooting the messenger," and I especially recommend following-up on Amy Edmondson's research if you are interested in this issues of speaking-up and psychological safety.

Innovation at BusinessWeek: “Reverse Engineering” the Summer Special Issue on Business At Work

 

I’ve been doing some blogging lately at BusinessWeek Online about Toxic Bosses, and will be doing so for the next few weeks with Ben Dattner and Annie McKee. There is also blogging by various experts -- along with lots of comments from readers -- on other business at work issues including work-life balance, staying entrepreneurial, time management, negotiating bureaucracy, and generational issues.  Blogging in concert with what is published in a major magazine like BusinessWeek isn’t new. In fact,  BusinessWeek has been the leader among major business magazine in producing diverse and high quality online content -- light years ahead of Fortune, for example. BUT they really going to extremes to produce their summer double issue on Business@Work, using a kind of modified Wisdom of Crowds or “open source” approach.

Michelle Conlin, the BusinessWeek editor I am working with, puts it that this way: “We are reverse engineering the news-gathering process. Rather than us going out to craft and gather the story, we are going to let readers guide us through their questions and comments on our blogs online. Coupled with posts from experts, we will use the material generated online to create the print version. It's the opposite of how we normally do things.”

 

How about that? I have often accused people in the publishing industry of a stunning lack of courage and creativity (The second paragraph of Weird Ideas That Work introduces an example of a publishing firm that wants to innovate, but doesn’t have the will to do so. In essence, they wanted the money from creativity, but didn’t want to take any risks). BusinessWeek is taking a substantial risk with this approach, and I applaud their courage.  Check-out these blogs and make some comments -- you may end-up in the pages of BusinessWeek in a couple months!

P.S. Here is a press release about it.

 

Roy Blount Jr. Weighs in on the Asshole Problem

This charming article in Esquire by Roy Blount Jr. argues that "We don't need any more assholes. We need a son of a bitch."  I love his arguments that there is a difference between people who are abrasive and admirable versus people who are simply demeaning and narrow-minded creeps . As I've written here before, The No Asshole Rule is not an argument for being a doormat or wimp, and I am a strong believer in the power of constructive conflict. Recall that one of the 15 things I believe is:  Learn how to fight as if you are right and listen as if you are wrong: It helps you develop strong opinions that are weakly held. I also love the picture of the box that goes with the article too.  Check it out.

A Cautionary Tale: Watch the Email

Dr. Bruce Kone of the University of Florida was involved in a controversy this Spring about (allegedly) inappropriate inactions involving the admission of a student.  There is a lot of finger-pointing going on in this story, but two facts are pretty clear.  First, as part of the controversy, then Dean Kone sent a rather nasty email to several Florida administrators, that led to a public apology on his part.  Second, Dr. Kone was removed as Dean of the Medical School shortly thereafter. 

It is unclear if Dr. Kone lost his job just because of the email, there were a lot of other things going on (he did seem to have overly close personal connections to the student he admitted and there are some hints from the news stories that he was breeding a climate of fear at the school). But I confess that, for me, this story had special resonance as I think I am most prone toward becoming temporary asshole on email, and have learned -- the hard way -- to keep censoring myself.  An IT guy I know showed me that he has his email set-up so that it takes a full five minutes for his email to go out after he hits "send." I think I will go in and set that up.  Also, another part of this story we should all remember -- many, or perhaps most, of our employers have can go back and read the emails we send.  

Finally, alas, I don't find the nastiness here very surprising, as academia, and especially, medicine have well-deserved reputations for being prone to asshole poisoning, and here we have both worlds at work -- although some doctors are fighting back admirably.

NOVA Show on Workplace Unhappiness: Do You Want to Be on TV, Talk About Interpersonal Issues at Work, and Get Free Coaching?

I got this email the other day.  It sounds like PBS is doing a “reality TV” version of The Office -- with coaching from experts. Contact them if you are interested:

We're looking for people who would be suitable for either of the following opportunities: 1. Do relationship issues in the workplace affect the running of your company? Do you want to improve your working environment, resolve conflict or improve communication? Would you like to go for coaching with a successful, well-respected organizational consultant? The "NOVA" show on PBS is making a documentary about relationships, and we're looking for people prepared to talk honestly about the interpersonal challenges in their workplace. Coaching will be provided at no extra cost. This is an opportunity for you to resolve problems -- perfect for small companies or start-ups or for larger organizations. If you're interested in participating, or know someone who might be, please e-mail us, in confidence, and put "ProfNet - workplace relationships" in the subject line. 2. Unhappy at work? Are you currently having, or have you recently had, difficult relationships with your boss or co-workers? Is their behavior making your life miserable, and are you having trouble communicating? Would you like to go for coaching?

PBS television is making a documentary about relationships, and we're looking for someone to openly speak about their difficult interpersonal experiences at work, and to undergo coaching by a highly successful, industry-respected organizational consultant (which will be provided at no cost). We will be highlighting the impact that workplace relationships can have on emotional health. This is an opportunity for you to finally resolve your problems with your boss or colleague. If you're interested in participating, or know someone who might be, please e-mail us, in confidence, with "ProfNet - workplace unhappiness" in the subject line.

This series is being produced by Kunhardt Productions (www.kunhardtproductions.com). Contact: Talya Boston, relationshipsfilm@gmail.com

Dutch Version of The No Asshole Rule Published: De anti-huftermethode

 I just got a nice note from Bram Gerrits, the translator of the Dutch version of The No Asshole Rule. Check out the cover above. Bram also reports that "We spoke before about the Dutch edition of 'Asshole'. It's out - The Dutch title is "De anti-huftermethode" (The anti asshole method)." I am not sure what that subtitle means -- I asked Bram for a translation. But if you speak Dutch, please let us know.  Go here to learn more!

My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole

I am not making this up. This guy appears to be a professional asshole. His web site starts out:

My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole.

I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead.

 

He is apparently an object of admiration among a certain breed of testosterone poisoned young man.  His books include I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (which is selling pretty damn well in paperback) and the forthcoming Assholes Finish First. (Note cover above... he seems very proud of being arrested).

One of my favorite Jimmy Buffett lines goes something like "Some things in life are still a mystery to me, and other things are much to clear."  It is a mystery to me why, at least in some corners, people like Tucker Max are celebrated by others and take pride in their sexism and the damage they do to others. It is much to clear to me, however, that he is exactly the kind of vile person that I try to avoid at all costs.  And it is also clear to me that the world would be better off without the likes of Mr. Max.

Also, I doubt Tucker Max has much interest in evidence, but the research seems to be that although there are some conditions when acting like an asshole has advantages (see "The Upside of Assholes"), they don't finish first in most cases.  Rather, it appears that finishing first -- or at least being put in power -- can make people dumber and turn them into insensitive jerks. The evidence is also crystal clear that people who act like demeaning and self-centered creeps damage the mental and physical health of people around them (as this blog and The No Asshole Rule show), as well as the performance of their teams and organizations.

But I guess leaving a trail of damaged people  in your wake would be a source of pride rather than shame for a self-anointed certified asshole like Tucker Max.

The ARSE Test Passes 150,000 Completions

I just got an email from Emily over at Electric Pulp indicating that the ARSE test -- the Asshole Rating Self-Exam -- recently surpassed over 150,000 completions (152, 234, with a mean of score of 6.4).  So the self-examination continues. A lot of people continue to take the test for themselves and others, as over 5000 people a month are still taking it.

I also have a number of other "ARSE Tools" out there, although none are nearly as successful as the original ARSE Test.

The next most popular is the ACHE, the Asshole Client from Hell Exam, for determining if your client is a certified asshole. This was inspired by this beleaguered fellow at a professional services firm.  We've had 12,180 completions, with a mean score of 14.3 (very high, this is out of 20, I guess there are lot of asshole clients out there, or at least people who have asshole clients are attracted to the ACHE.)

The Flying ARSE hasn't been nearly as popular, this is a self-test to determine if you are the kind of person who makes air travel miserable for everyone. A total of 7582 have completed the flying ARSE, and the mean is 3.82 out of 24, which suggests that most people see themselves as civilized passengers. But, boy, do the bad ones stand-out (I was literary knocked down by an overly aggressive passenger in Newark the other day, who decided that he had to get off the plane first the other day -- and I wasn't the only victim.)

Finally, bringing-up the rear is ARSEmail, a kind of e-card that you can send to apologize for being an asshole to co-worker or to express sympathy to the victim of a workplace asshole. The ARSE mail has always been my favorite, but perhaps that is just a rationalization because it took longer to develop than the others. But it has not exactly caught fire, as only 703 have have been sent. By the way, when Guy Kawasaki saw the ARSEmail, he predicted that it would not be very viral because it was too complicated to complete. I guess he was right, and of course, when it comes to predicting and crafting things that people will spread on the web, Guy has a mighty good track record.

I would be curious if people have any other ideas about why some of these ARSE tools have been so much more viral than others.  And if you have any ideas about other experiments that I might try with different web-based surveys and the like, let me know.  They aren't that hard to do -- at least all were pretty easy (thanks to the people at Electric Pulp) except perhaps for ARSEmail.

Another Asshole Infested Hospital

As I've written, I first saw how abusive hospitals could be -- especially surgeons working in the operating room -- when my collage Dan Denison spent a week observing a team of operating room nurses in the early 1980's.  The worst actions we were by a surgeon we dubbed Dr.Gooser.  And I was writing The No Asshole Rule, and since I started writing this blog, I've encountered more and more research, and been told more and more stories, suggesting that nurses are among the consistently bullied workers, and doctors are often the culprits.

I just got a long, sad, and quite articulate email from a scrub nurse who feels trapped in one of these asshole infested places.  I suggested that if she could possibly get out, that might be the best thing for her mental health, but it is unclear that she has this option. If not, as I've written in my tips for victims of assholes, this might be one of those cases were organized action could help, but she and others have tried that too. Despite my hesitation about recommending legal action, this just might be a case where that is the best option. Read it and tell me -- and especially her -- what you think is her best course of action.  Here is the email with only the names removed to protect innocent and the guilty -- she first presents what I found to be a very thoughtful contrast between Frankl's classic and The No Asshole Rule, and then gets on to her difficult cas:

I read your book.  You said that we could write to you, so I am.  Right after reading Viktor Frankl's book "Man's Search For Meaning", I read your book.  There are a lot of similarities between the two books about how to get along in a bad work environment, even though the content is different.  Frankl survived four Nazi prison camps and wrote about it.  I read Frankl's book and then re-read it, typing important passages into my computer since it was a library book.  By the end, I realized that I should have just bought the book.  Anyway, if you do a quick read of the first half of his book (before the section on Logotherapy), you will see that the similarities on how to deal with the SS and how to deal with today's work bullies are similar. 

I've read most of the how-to-deal-with-bullies-at-work books and I think yours is the most pragmatic.  You use multiple scientific articles to back up your ideas.  Furthermore, most of the other bullying books only deal with what to do if you're the CEO or middle management. If there is a section on what to do if you're a peon, they were obviously written by non-peons and their suggestions were not practical  (i.e. quit; go to HR and complain <HR sides with the bully>; explain yourself to the bully; work harder, maybe it IS you after all; support anti-bullying legislation).  Your book gets into the psyche of the asshole/bully and is more helpful to the peons with better suggestions, even though you cover the CEO's, too. 

Some of your suggestions overlapped Frankl's solutions which were: know what you're getting into before you accept "the job"; let fate take its course and learn to tolerate the abuse; appreciate the good things that happen; escape if you can; avoid the assholes in life if possible; keep your mouth shut and blend in; always let them see you working hard; fantasize about other things; become apathetic to your abuse or other people's abuse; die with dignity by not succumbing to becoming an asshole yourself.  One thing he said that you didn't that I thought might help in another publication was that the prisoner/worker should develop relationships with lateral next line up managers.  In his situation, they were called Capos--inmate prisoner first-line supervisors.  In our day, it would be considered shmoozing or networking with lateral managers (not your own) so that some day, you may get to make a lateral move out from under an abusive boss or maybe another lateral manager that you have befriended will put in a good word for you.  Frankl thought that contemplating winning the war was pointless.  I bet he'd think that anti-bullying legislation was a pie in the sky idea and didn't help the bullying victim in the 'here and now'.

I work with cardiac surgeons.  They are all pretty much cut from the same cloth.  They're all certified assholes, except for one and I've worked with many over the years.  I've been working with one really mean surgeon on a daily basis for 20 years now.  He throws things, calls us names, charges at us like he's going to punch us or shove us, he screams incessantly, he makes jokes about whoever is or isn't there for the amusement of the team.  The team has exhibited mobbing behavior and help to laugh at or target whoever is the target of the day, then they go pat the target on the back after the 8-10 hours of abuse as a parting gift for being the abuse receptacle for the day. 

Several years ago, the surgeon went absolutely nuts and pushed a huge table full of heavy instruments.  Someone caught it before it slammed a nurse into the wall who had her back to the flying table. It could have killed her.  He physically backed up one of the scrub techs against the wall and shook his fists at her, his face beet red and his whole body shaking with anger.  This type of behavior went on for hours as the case dragged on.  He threw things, he screamed and called people names.  In his eyes, everyone was incompetent!  He was hoarse from all of the screaming.  The anesthesiologist (a doctor) who witnessed the whole thing said that the target should have called a lawyer.  Did he go to bat for her to administration?  No.  Did he try to stop the surgeon from ranting?  No.  After the ordeal, one of the other scrub techs wrote a synopsis of what happened and reported the doctor to Human Resources for what he did.  Doctors at our hospital are self-employed.  They are not employees of the hospital.  Furthermore, they bring in a lot of business.  They are in the asset column, we are in the debit column.  We are there to serve the physicians.  A case was built against the girl who filed the complaint.  They looked into her EAP (work sponsored counseling) files to find out if she had gone for counseling (against the law).  They looked into her medical claims to see if she had any counseling and found that she had gone to counseling (also against the law), and she had, for marital counseling.  They called her into the head physician's