Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project

Check it out. As Gretchen puts it, “I'm working on a book, THE HAPPINESS PROJECT--a memoir about this year, during which I'm testing every principle, tip, theory, and scientific study I can find, whether from Aristotle or St. Therese or Martin Seligman or Oprah.”  She has great and diverse tips – starting with her 12 Commandments – - for traveling through life doing good things for herself and others. On the surface, her quest sounds a lot different than driving out and reforming demeaning workplace jerks. But as I read through her blog, I realized that we are both chasing a similar dream (although her language is much nicer than mine). When I looked at Gretchen’s 12 commandments, I realized that these are means that we can all use to stop our “inner jerk” from rearing its ugly head. Her “let it go” reminds me of my call for learning when and how to practice indifference. Feeling more passionate about the people you work with and your workplace can backfire at times. Unfortunately, there are times when becoming emotionally detached from nasty people and places that you can’t escape can help you avoid turning into demeaning jerks like them.

I’d also add to her list that it is important to view nastiness as a contagious disease, and one of the most effective ways to avoid catching such asshole poisoning is to stay away from – or quickly exit – gatherings, groups, and organizations where the “pro-asshole” rather than the “no asshole” rule reigns. And, in terms of happiness, since that is contagious too, seeking and surrounding yourself with sweet and energetic people is an evidence-based path to happiness.

Perhaps it is my bias, because I am married to an attorney who has worked at a large law firm for over 20 years, but I think it is no accident that so many lawyers get interested what it takes to be a happy person and what it takes to drive out and reform nasty people from workplaces.  Gretchen was a clerk for Justice Sandra Day O’Connor on the U.S. Supreme Court; one of the wisest living Americans, and by all accounts, one of kindest judges. But even the nicest lawyers see the worst of what human beings do, it is one of the few occupations where clients sometimes hire you to act like an overbearing jerk on their behalf, and major law firms – which are ranked largely by “profits per partner,” the amount of money earned by the average partner – can turn into hotbeds of distress as people work far longer hours than is healthy for any human being and too often engage in dysfunctional competition over their share of the partnerships profits. Indeed, it is no surprise that Aric Press, editor of the American Lawyer proposed that law firms institute “jerk audits” after reading my essay about the no asshole rule in the Harvard Business Review.

I am going to follow Gretchen’s blog closely – and show it to my wife as well. Learning how to be happier isn’t just good for ourselves, it is good for everyone around us.

 

Comments

[Bob M]

The Happiness Project is a great blog. Thanks for the pointer, Bob.