The Power of Keeping an "Asshole Diary"

My wife -- an attorney -- always emphasizes that if anything bad is happening to you, and you want your organization, your boss, or your attorney to help you do something about it, vague and emotional complaints won't help very much. And even having one, well-documented example won't help very much either.  What you need is a documented history of the bad stuff that is happening AND it is even better if you can recruit others to document the bad stuff as well, because that way it is far tougher to dismiss you as a "nut case."

I got an email earlier in the week from a government worker who explained how she used an asshole diary to document the actions of an abusive co-worker, recruited others to do the same, and then, the asshole seemed to mysteriously disappear.  Here is an edited version of the quote, to protect her identity. Read it closely, it is the model of how to fight back against an asshole -- and to put your managers, HR Department, and their lawyers in a position where they have plenty of ammunition to help you, and if they elect not to help you, you have plenty of ammunition to use against them.

I have spent the afternoon reading your book The No Asshole Rule and plan to copy pages and paste them to my locker at work. I have worked [at a government agency] for four years and encountered the asshole of all assholes very early on. I won't go into all the horrible things she did but will instead share how I and her other victims decided to respond to her. After months of being tormented by her and her "posse'"and comforting other tearful victims, I decided to document her behavior. I kept a little notebook in my pocket and wrote down her behaviors that were racist, slanderous, threatening, etc.  I documented the many harmful things she did with dates and times.....basically I kept an "Asshole Journal."  I encouraged her other victims to do so too and these written and signed statements were presented to our supervisor.

Our supervisors knew this worker was an asshole but didn't really seem to be doing anything to stop her harmful behaviors until they received these statements. The asshole went on a mysterious leave that no supervisor was permitted to discuss and she never returned.   I wanted to share my story about the asshole journals.  It was a lot of work and there were moments where I was very fearful but it all worked out in the end.

I applaud this woman for her courage and wisdom. This is one of my favorite “fighting back” stories.

Comments

[Definite]

Good Book. Unfortunately I can directly relate to the asshole manager examples in the book.

My Managing Director falls into the category and takes the credit for his Senior Management team. After 7 months of his constant whining, inconsistency, dishonesty, and lack of any kind of ethic base - I decided to resign on a point of principle.

Mmmm... My MD is delighted - and warned me "not to make any 'noise' or contact with corporate or I would find my last pay check severely short". The point of principle still stands - but this guy is a massive asshole.

[FAS]

Great book, great blog. I wish I'd been consistent with my Asshole Diary before I was fired six months ago. That way, my passive-agressive boss, who "tried to help me and always supported me" would've been proven wrong. You want asshole? How's this:

Me: So you've called me into your office and I've noticed some tension. You want to meet with me on Monday. Is there anything I should know? What should I do? My job is important to me.

Asshole: Listen, FAS, you're not going to get fired on Monday, we just need to talk.

Monday's meeting was canceled; I was fired on Wednesday.

The Asshole was laughing and chatting with me the day before as if nothing was wrong.

[Tia]

"and to put your managers, HR Department, and their lawyers in a position where they have plenty of ammunition to help you,"

Help YOU? In your dreams.