The No Asshole Rule Goes to Work: A Round-up of Uses and Reactions

I received at least 50 diverse emails about The No Asshole Rule in the last week, and gave talks about it to three (also diverse) groups: A group of about 20 Chief Information Officers in Dallas, an audience of 200 lawyers and 300 of their clients in Phoenix, and about 150 or so Stanford volunteers on the Stanford campus. Along the way, I’ve learned some fascinating things about how people are using and reacting to the book. I thought it would be fun to do a round-up.  Here are seven ways:

1. An anonymous message to an asshole. A distraught San  Francisco police captain both wrote and called me, as he was given the book anonymously, and it contained an inscription that said something like "Read this book, you need it." He didn't seem very happy. He also seemed to think that I had written it, or perhaps sent it to him myself. I didn't.  

2. A protective device against assholes. An attorney reported that she was going to display a copy of the book on her office because she thought it might cause clients and colleagues to be nicer to her.

3. A training tool. I have had notes from people from several organizations (including a law firm and a financial services firm) where HR people held workshops where they used the book. Also, check out how C.K. Gunsalus is using it in the MBA classroom.

4. An asshole management tool. The head of HR at one university was given the book by his boss (a dean) to help both of them think about how to deal with the “ speed bumps” they have hit from “the same bullies, creeps, jerks, tormentors and egomaniacs that you describe in your book.”

5. Banned by an asshole boss. An office assistant had the book on her desk; her boss told her to take it off her desk and bring it home, because it was making people uncomfortable. She suggested that the real reason that her boss wanted her to get rid of it was that he is an asshole -- and didn't want to face the fact.

6. A source of confusion: Is it hypocrisy, a confession, or an attempt at a personal and organizational change? An HR executive told me yesterday that her boss -- a total asshole -- had three copies of the book on his desk. She couldn’t figure out if it indicated a complete lack of self-awareness about his effects on others, an admission of his problem, or even the start of a change effort. Perhaps he just bought them for the chapter on "The Virtues of Assholes."

7. As affirmation for a firm that already has (or had) the policy. I got a very nice note from Joshua de Koning, the Firm Administrator of Lloyd Gosselink Blevins Rochelle & Townsend, who reports that their firm has used the policy for years. And I also received multiple emails, and had a charming conversation with Lou Pepper, who when he was CEO of Washington Mutual in the 1980's, also applied the policy (they used “A word,” internally, although they used more polite words for public consumption). he said that they used the policy, in part, because "If we are nice to each other, we will be nice to customers."  It makes sense to me, and is  also  consistent with what  is done at Southwest and JetBlue Airlines.

Comments

[Ryan]

I am a part time peon for a small (100 employees) computer company in San Diego. I have always known there was something seriously wrong with the company.

I already knew that the owners (who are also the CEO, CTO, and VP of Production) were assholes. What I didn't understand was how much their being assholes had to do with so many other problems in the company. I figured out the indifference survival routine on my own a few years back. Your book was able to put into words things I've only felt, and I really appreciate it.

After reading your book I have a better understanding of precisely what is happening at my work. It's been 4 years, and I have already waited far too long. I am looking for a job somewhere else. Your book has helped inspire my search and I have already passed it on to another.

Thanks again,
Ryan

[anon]

On #6, IMO misperceptions of ourselves, the consequences of our actions, our value to organizations, our contributions to problems relative to others and our responsibility for less than stellar outcomes are major but natural human biases that are likely hardwired into us. Sort of the "Lake Wobegon Effect" (Google it) that is captured in timeless aphorisms across cultures. I expect a lot of us, myself included, are forging forth with the book and the best of motives without first clearly seeing our reflection in the mirror. A great service would be developing a good mechanism and materials for getting 360 degree feedback from one's personal, social and work environment. An concise explanation, a set of questions to be duplicated, a mechanism to preserve anonymity and thus safety to responders and so on on. There will always be those sociopaths whose biased self perception is impenetrable but many would change when faced with trusted evidence and given a chance.

[nraynaud]

Hi Bob,

About your sixth point: maybe you wrote the answer of your question in the "knowing-doing gap".

Nicolas.