The Sacred and the Profane

I have not been surprised that some people have reacted negatively to the title of The No Asshole Rule. I wrote about a few of these complaints in Why I Call Them Assholes and in “amusing poetic vitriol,” about the wonderful nasty letter that a reader sent to the San Francisco Chronicle. I also am not especially surprised that, in response to Lisa Cullen’s Time Magazine column and blog about the book (in which she sung the praises of assholes, and used the word in uncensored form), that at least one person threatened to cancel his 25-year subscription to Time (although other people told him to “get over it.”). And I wasn’t surprised -- but was amused -- when a woman recently wrote me that her boss asked her to take the book home because the title might upset her co-workers (She implied that his overt justification was the title, but the real reason probably was because he is a nasty boss.)

I was a little more surprised to learn that Josh Quittner, the Editor of Business 2.0, predicted to my friend and frequent co-author (a 2.0 columnist) Jeff Pfeffer last December that my dirty title would “severely limit sales.”  I just learned of this prediction in an “I told you so” e-mail that Jeff sent Josh recently (Jeff has an excellent memory and is usually right, a dangerous combination). Of course, we haven’t done the alternative experiment -- trying to sell the same book with a clean title -- but the dirty title does seem to be attracting people more people than it is repelling.  It is on a number of best seller lists: Friday’s Wall Street Journal listed it as the #3 business Book and #14 non-fiction book, and as Guy Kawasaki discussed on his blog, I wouldn’t accept offers from publishers who wanted the book, but didn’t want the title, because I believed in it so strongly.

A bigger surprise, however, is how many positive reactions I have received from religious people, especially devout Christians, about the book. The first time this happened was in January, when I got an e-mail from an editor at Chrismon, a magazine published by the Lutheran Church in Germany (and mailed to 1.5 million Germans). He wanted to interview me for a story about Der Arschloch-Faktor. I frankly thought, at first, that either it was a joke, or he was going to write a negative story. But he explained to me that, in his view, The No Asshole Rule was really quite closely related to the Golden Rule, and that if you looked closely at the teachings of Christ, the main points of the book were quite consistent.  A positive story appeared in the March issue. 

I have since received at least 20 emails from people who make a similar point, including several from a woman who suggested that we work together on a version of the book that contained footnotes to biblical sources that supported the assertions and advice -- and that contained a bible study guide to go with the book. Finally, a few weeks back, Richard Beck wrote a post on his blog, Experimental Theology, called 1 Corinthians and the No Asshole Rule.  Beck started out by saying:

Two weeks ago it was my turn to teach my adult bible class at church. We are going through 1 Corinthians and I was up to teach the famous Chapter 13, "Love is patient, love is kind..."

And I thought to myself, "Richard, what are you possibly going to say in class that hasn't been said before about 1 Corinthians 13?"

Then it hit me. I started the class by doing a book review and reading selections from Dr. Robert Sutton's new book The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't.

Beck went to say argue that my two tests for determining if a person is an asshole are in direct agreement with 1 Corinthians, and ended the post by saying:

So, we reflected on all this in my Sunday School class. And after reflection on the No Asshole Rule, I read these famous words:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs...

Basically, don't be an asshole.

I confess that I like his logic, but I don’t trust my reaction.  If anyone can help me sort this out, I would appreciate it – talking dirty in a way that seems to please at least some religious people is quite a shock!

P.S. I also should confess that I stole this heading from an InformationWeek article about the work done by our d.school students to spread Firefox. They used this title because one team developed a website called Firefoxies.com, where models posted their sometimes sexy pictures.  In contrast, the "sacred" website, Faithbrowser.com, is a tool for customizing your Firefox browser so that it has Christian graphics and presents an ever changing set of quotes from the bible.

Comments

[ann michael]

Bob - I can't really comment on the Christian reaction to your book (although I have to say that it's very encouraging to me!!!), but the fact that the title appears to have helped (not hurt) sales is not surprising to me at all.

As others have said - it's obvious that you used the word asshole because it so accurately reflects interactions with one! You feel that word and you immediately know the type of person to whom you're referring. It's also a real word - the one even the most conservative person thinks or mutters under their breath when they've had the "pleasure" of interacting with one!

It facilitates communication, addresses a very common problem, and it's honest - who wouldn't pick that book up!!!

Ann

[evden eve nakliyat]

very nice informations thank you very much mr suma

[Lauchlan Mackinnon]

Hi Bob,

Nice McKinsey article of yours:

http://www.mckinseyquarterly.com/article_page.aspx?ar=1963&L2=18&L3=31&srid=17&gp=0

Regards

Lauchlan Mackinnon

[Dave]

I've been considering introducing your book to our church board. IMHO, churches are far less capabable to deal with assholes because they tend to be non-confrontational. As a result, assholes run roughshod over the entire congregation.

Unfortunately, the secular world commonly is ahead of churches in identifying and dealing with social issues.

Theologically, I consider asshole behavior to be sinful. It is certainly a pattern of behavior toward others that is opposed by Christian teachings. I believe that Jesus modeled and taught "don't be an asshole" and actively preached against those that he clearly identified as being assholes. I also think 2000 years of trying to 'make nice' have softened the original sharp edge.

[Wally Bock]

I have three observations. For reference, my father was a Lutheran pastor and I'm an Episcopalian.

Observation one: "Religious people" have a pretty broad range of attitudes about almost everything. What we have in common is that our faith is a touchstone and guide for life. How we play that out varies a lot.

Observation two: There are people who find that title offensive because of their sense of decorum, whether or not they are religious.

Observation three: There seems to me to be a difference in how people react to the title and how they react to the book. Folks who are truly offended by the title won't even open the book. Those that do open the book are likely to judge it on its merits as a book, not on the particular working you chose for the title.

[dblwyo]

Actually I'm suprised that we're suprised and gratified and encouraged. First - while you may have a temper :) - it doesn't appear to be a gratuitous use of the A-word nor used just for shock and marketing impact. Do you use Asshole and similar words much in everyday conversation ? I don't but save them when their exceptionality reinforces my intent. Having worked in railroad extra gangs where a request to pass the potatoes was ten words of request and 20 of profanity jades one.

The MUCH more important point is that true Christianity is based on love and compassion for one's neighbor. Or, pointing out that the insight is widespread, seeing the other as a Thou and not an IT. We abuse IT's but not People who we see as our co-humans. Stop and think about that for a minute. An asshole treating people as fungible commodities is treating them as sub-human in a display of the most primitive emotions.

Any truly religious person who believes in the sacrededness of people will pursue any angle possible to a)strengthen the message and b) (more importantly) get it out and applied in the real world and not just in bible class.

Our Faith shouldn't be 1 hour on Sunday but every hour on every day. Just think, soon you'll be a well known guru.