There is a fantastic post on the Top 10 Ways to Fire Clients From Hell at Inside CRM. Lovely stuff.
Here is one of my favorites:
5. The client who wants you to be something you're not: Some
clients have a clear idea in their heads of what they’d like to see
from your work. Often, this is good news, but if their specifics don’t
line up with the way you like to operate, you may end up butting heads.
How to get out: To
reason with this client, you can explain why you prefer to do things
the way you do. After all, you're the expert. If he simply doesn't
understand or refuses to accept your methods, it's time to cut ties.
Explain to him the problems that his requests create for you and let
him down easy. If you can, refer him to a colleague or competitor that
you know can deliver what he wants. A referral is key, because you
don't want him to be unsatisfied and claim that you can't do your job.
I like this one one because I have had quite a few clients
who insist that I become expert on something that I am not. In one of the
worst cases, I remember getting a call -- about 48 hours before a
long-planned talk -- from a wine industry consultant who insisted that
I completely change my session so that it was about pending
legislation in the industry. I tried to explain that it was something
that I had no expertise in at all, and that if I tried
to pretend that I was an expert in something, but was not, everyone
would lose. She wouldn't back off, so I walked. But I was not as gracious as
is suggested above.
Also, you might check out this annotated version of the Inside CRM post on Hyperblog, where you can see how one employer -- it was a contract job for the blogger, so the employer was also a client -- managed to be all 10 kinds of clients from hell rolled into one. Talk about an asshole infested place!
Of course, not all clients from hell are assholes, but some of them certainly qualify. But it is wise to get rid of them when you realize that you have a demeaning jerk on your hands. And there is at least one company that takes this a step further, warning potential clients that they will get fired if they turn out to be assholes -- and that is the word they use. To this point, there was a great Wall Street Journal article a few months back on the Van Aatrijk Group's assertive and explicit use of of this policy. As I said on my "honor roll" of places that apply the rule:
Peter van Aartrijk is CEO and
founder of this 14 person marketing and advertising. He has used the rule
since 2000, when the firm was founded.
As Mr. van Aartrijk told The Wall Street Journal in April:
I decided we would surround
ourselves with clients who are
fun to be with and are still very smart. All of what we've done since has been
built around that simple philosophy -- a 'No Assholes Policy,' or NAP."
Mr.
van Aartrijk reports that applies the rule to employees as well as clients, and
that: that he routinely uses this policy to turn away clients:
"I probably turn away about 20% of the revenue we could be bringing in. But I think we gain over the long term, in relationships with clients; we're still growing 20% a year. We make new clients aware of the NAP up front. Most of them love it. Some send emails to others and blind-copy me, and they say, 'Be sure to ask him about his NAP.'"
And, as this recent Wall Street Journal article on the Cranky Skies suggests, and as I was told by several airline executives in the course of doing research for my book, most major airlines keep lists of passengers who have been such jerks that they aren't allowed to purchase tickets -- so they use the rule too, albeit rarely.
Finally, there are some cases where either clients aren't such assholes that they deserve to be fired, or perhaps they are flaming assholes, but you or your company still can't bring yourself to fire them. Some people and places use what I first heard described (by an attorney) as "asshole taxes" in such cases. Since I first heard about this tactic, I have had dozens of people tell me that, when a client is a known jerk, or turns into one, they raise their rates. Their argument usually goes something like "That way, I can tell myself that the client may be treating me like dirt, but is paying me extra for the privilege." So it is a way reduce the cognitive dissonance. I have heard about variations of "asshole taxes" from car mechanics, plumbers, management consultants, and even one waiter who reported that he quoted higher prices on restaurant specials when he didn't like the customers. So watch out, if you are asshole customer or client, people may be charging you taxes at every turn, and you might not even realize it.
And to return to the wine industry, I still love the email from the wine importer who wrote me that "“In my
business, we have a rule that says that a customer can either be an arsehole
(I'm English originally) or a late pay, but not both. We have reduced stress
considerably by excluding some customers on this basis.” I love both the description and the practical compromise.
I would love to hear from people about other tactics they use for getting rid of, or "taxing" nasty clients.
I just loved your questionaire. It couldn't have come at a better time for me.
I will actually fire a client for the second time in my career. Another client, I've just decided that I will never work with again
The interior design field is very vulnerable to lashes and whippings from clients. I find it more so in the residential.
We as designers are over glorified. I don't think it's rocket science to decide on colors and create furniture placement. Yes, I graduated at IDI and I learn plenty but I also recognize when client's have their own flair.
I had the to encounter the same vicious personality twice in my career and both times I've quit.
Why? Because they are ruthless. What I realized about this type is that they probably don't love their job, husband or whatever. They are jealous of what I do cuz it's considered a fun profession. They'd rather have my job than stay home with the kids. And, the like being a control freak so they are going to make my day the way they see it.
Ha! I laugh! There are times when I'd rather stay home and paint a picture. Today, that will happen for me as I'm sick of the toxic spew that has dripped all over me today.
The craziest thing is that this last client is a psychologist. I think it's hysterical. I can't help but laugh under my breath. This morning I told her I do not like the way she was talking to me and she proceeded to get louder.
There was no way to win. My way is to get out while the going's good!
It's a georgous day with spring weather. Cleaning my garage sounds like a much better idea. That will make room for the huge painting I'm about to attempt!
Thanks for giving me the insight today!
Michele M / Colorthemes
Posted by: Michele | February 08, 2008 at 12:23 PM
I run a specialised consulting business. There are various metrics that describe the complexity of each job.
After accumulating accurate time sheets for a year or so, we set about analysing them. We found that the relationship between the metrics and time actually taken to complete each assignment was weak: R2 < 0.2.
What drives the cost to complete a job was the tractability of the original client. If he accepts recommendations and works collaboratively to implement them, things go much quicker than if he bitches about the recommendations and obstructs the implementation.
We've therefore abandoned the old pricing altogether and simply have a list of difficult customers who get charged more. Before the No Asshole Rule become widely known, we were calling this Asshole Pricing. It isn't just a tax, a surcharge on the regular price; the entirety of the price quoted is driven by Asshole considerations.
Posted by: David C | September 27, 2007 at 05:32 AM
What works for me is
"I cant't believe how you became so sharp. I think you'd be 10x better than me if you talk about this your self.
Isn't god unfair.(with a sigh)
blah blah blah........
have you ever considered being a consultant? You could get close to Drucker"
Believe me or not, this kind of way too obvious brown nosing works, In fact assholes even look happy.
The only artifact. They might become your fan so don't get to far:-)
Ketsunoana(Asshole) from Japan
Posted by: Arata Mitsumatsu | September 22, 2007 at 12:55 AM