The Civility Solution

I have been writing a fair amount lately (and, as a result,blogging a bit less), including an innovation article for the McKinsey Quarterly on innovation that will appear soon and the BusinessWeek essay discussed in my last post -- and most of all -- working to get my next book started. For me, the writing process involves reading books from diverse sources.  I thought it would be fun to point to three of the best books I've read lately. The first is P.M. Forni's The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude. Professor Forni is a professor at Johns Hopkins University and, as I have written here, has been leading a cvility movement in Maryland for the last few years.  It is a charming and well-written book. I especially like how Professsor Forni provides such constructive and careful guidance about how to handle the small moments of rudeness that occur so often in life -- not only those moments when other people are rude to us, but also when we are rude to them.  As I've emphasized in The No Asshole Rule, the development and enforcement of this, or any other social norms, doesn't happen through broad pronouncement, but rather, in the little moments that either reinforce or undermine the norm.  The other thing I like about the book is that Professor Forni's personal charm and wisdom makes the book a delight to read.  I found that his warm gentle spirit inspired me to want to be more civil, not just the the content of the great advice and stories that he provides in this book.  This is a lovely and very practical book.

Comments

[Knud Sinding]

The "Civility Solution" is fine and timely, but there seems to be a trend in popular culture to celebrate the opposite. For a deeply unpleasant example, watch any clip with the british celebrity chef´Gordon Ramsay, eg here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-l0Wx32vfc&feature=related

[sabrina]

Interesting timing. I just had an interaction with a fellow driver the other day which astounded me because the other driver broke the law and then lectured me through my open window about how I had been mean to him. I had no real idea how to deal with him and so after a couple aborted attempted sentences (he wouldn't let me speak) I just said "You know what, I'm not going to argue about this" and ignored him. I'm still not sure what the best way to deal with that was.