I was just talking to an executive coach and consultant from Colorado, and she told me a funny and instructive story about how she helped a client deal with his emotional outbursts and table pounding at meetings. She would go to meetings with him and sat next to him. She brought a roll of tape along with her. When her client got up to speak, she used an "escalating" four-step warning system to control his behavior:
1. At the first sign of excessive anger, she would would take the roll of tape out and put it on the table next to him.
2. If he didn't calm down -- or started getting even more irate -- she would turn it on edge and roll it around a bit as a stronger reminder.
3. If he still was losing it -- perhaps starting to pound the table as he sometimes did -- she would start peeling off a piece of tape and made sure that he noticed it was happening.
4. If all else failed, she would stand-up and put a piece of tape on his mouth.
She reported that step 4 was never actually used, but that she got to step 3 quite a few times. She also reported that -- because this client had a sense of humor and because he really wanted to stop his outbursts -- this method was quite effective. Ultimately, along with some other methods that they worked out to help him maintain control, he was able to massively curtail the frequency and intensity of his outbursts at meetings.
Finally, she also emphasized that most of the "constructive coaching" jobs she did with executives over the years weren't this much fun, and unlike this client, were often with executives who were unable or unwilling to change. But I do like this story and I have to give her a lot credit for inventing the tape method and the client a lot of credit for being willing to have it used on him.
P.S. You can buy the duct tape poster here as well as some related goodies.
It's mixed - the real key to success for coaches is even if they are being referred or "sent" for corrective coaching - they have the attitude and desire for learning and change. It doesn't always happen, and certainly not overnight, but you are correct -trust is a huge part of the formula. In a high ego leader - there needs to be a way for them to save face as they change.
Posted by: Margie Mauldin | August 15, 2008 at 01:14 PM
I better hold off on that plan, then.
I'm curious, do most of the executives that you work with hire you themselves or does someone else in the company require them to work with you?
Posted by: Kevin Rutkowski | August 14, 2008 at 05:44 PM
Fine. Roll duct tape around - get results - only you didn't include how she achieved the trust needed to be able to allow her to openly admonish her client in front of his peers or reportees. This is where the rubber meets the duct tape. We'd all like to express our frustration with non-productive emotional outburst, but they usually are the distintegrating lamb's cloak sitting atop a keg of dynamite, some of which are passive agressive members of the team and others can based on irrelevant defenses.
Posted by: Leslie | August 14, 2008 at 04:57 PM
Well.... although quite tempting, I think I would consider other alternatives. As the consultant referenced in the posting, I can attest to the effectiveness of humor and "progressive warnings". This high profile executive made great strides in his behavior and was respected by his team for his openness with this situation.
Posted by: Margie Mauldin | August 14, 2008 at 12:56 PM
Hmmm... I know a couple people that I'd like to use this technique with. Do you think that it's OK if I implement this technique without the other person's consent?
Posted by: Kevin Rutkowski | August 14, 2008 at 10:56 AM