The No Asshole Rule: A Useful Book Even For People Who Don't Read It?

This September, I will be publishing a new book called Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to be the best... and learn from the worst, which I will introduce here in some detail here very soon (It was just posted on Amazon and can be pre-ordered; but I am going to wait a few days before writing about in part because they have a few things to fix on the page with both the image and the text). I also have a paperback version of The No Asshole Rule that will be published at the same time, which includes a new chapter, an Epilogue, called "On Being that Asshole Guy."  The paperback isn't even available for pre-order yet.  And  I will talk more about the new chapter as we get closer to launch and it is available to order.  But I can say that I had a huge amount of fun writing the new chapter and got into it so much that neither I nor my editor could quite believe it. 

When I began the chapter, our agreement was that it run a short 3000 words. Yet once I started digging through the highlights and thinking of all I had learned from being the asshole guy, I realized that there was no way that 3000 words was enough and my editor agreed when he saw the first draft. So the new chapter will be about 7500 words -- I think the first draft was in the 10,000 word range.  I started by re-reading the emails people sent me -- I dug up about 3000.  I was simply astounded by the range, quantity, and especially the quality. I went back and re-read all the pertinent blog posts here, and more generally used it as an opportunity to think about what I learned from one of the weirdest and most enlightening experiences of my professional life.

One of the many odd things that struck me as I reflected on the experience was that I had written a book that many people claimed was remarkably useful, even though they hadn't read it. As an author, I confess that this insight still disturbs me both because I worked so hard on every sentence in the book and, well, I want people to spend the money to buy my book.  Here is what I said about this insight in the new chapter (note that a word here and there might be different in the final version):

I believe the title struck such a nerve is because, for most people, the A-word captures the emotional and tangible elements of working with, managing, and being these destructive characters so well -- indeed, people who haven’t read a page make remarkably accurate guesses about the contents.  This is disconcerting because, after all, I devoted a big hunk of my life to researching, writing, and editing these words.   Mark Twain defined a “classic” as “a book which people praise and don't read.”  The No Asshole Rule isn’t a classic, but takes Twain’s point further by being a book that people can understand pretty well without reading.   There are other reasons the book is useful to those who don’t read it. An attorney explained that although she had not read it yet, she displayed a copy prominently in her office – and pointed to it when one of her colleagues started turning nasty.  An executive from a large internet company told me a similar story recently.  He claimed to have read it and liked it, but said it was most useful as a protective device.  People saw it on his desk, which reminded them to be civil, and “When they do lose it, I hold it up in front of my face like a shield – they get the message and turn it down immediately.”

I also know leaders who haven't read the book, but still use it to help enforce the rule. The leaders of several professional services firms discussed the book with me and explained they use the rule to help set their partners’ salaries – especially to justify paying less to top earners who are all-star assholes. At one firm, the lead partner waved the book around as he announced the rule would be used in compensation decisions. A couple years later, he told me it was working so well that he really ought to read it!  Copies of the book have also been used as symbolic weapons against asshole bosses.  In 2008, I gave a talk on the Stanford campus to several hundred leaders of nonprofit organizations. Afterwards, a vice-president from one non-profit pulled me aside and told me how they finally got their abusive CEO sacked.  The senior team (sans CEO) met with the board of directors, gave them each a copy of the book, and all threatened to resign if the CEO was not removed immediately.  The board voted to fire the CEO later that day.

I still think this is pretty weird, but I have accepted it as just one more twist in The No Asshole Rule story.  If you have any other ideas or stories about how the book can be used to good -- or I suppose bad -- effect even by people who don't read or buy it, I would be most curious to hear.

Comments

[SH]

Well, I pay more attention to my asshole radar (assdar?) since reading your book - at work and also at school, in the doctor's office (I fired a Dr recently - also knew something about him wasn't quite right), etc.

Some sure-fire signs - name dropping, "I" "me" statements, dismissing or not answering questions asked, being rude, short, curt with underlings (yes, Drs., patients can overhear how you talk to your nurses in the hallway), etc.

I wish I could buy your book by the case and hand it out like halloween candy.

[Jon4t2]

Will there be a way to buy just the new chapter from the paperback? I just bought the hardback. (Some things are just too important to put off until September.)

[Celina Macaisa]

Thanks for blogging about the WSJ article because I would have missed it otherwise. Thanks also for spreading the idea that making the workplace more humane has “business/profit value” and it works when its implementation is powered by a performance and results-driven CEO (not just a weakly implemented HR initiative.)

I have worked in some companies where it’s cool to be “graciously rude” or say hurtful things in a ‘nice corporate way’ (w/ a lip smile) or just let the other person ‘hear’ hurtful comments indirectly. This type of work behavior has always been viewed as ‘normal or just office politics’ and if you are a professional, you just need to suck it up and not react to it. (I also acted badly during this period because I did not know how-to handle the situation.)

But things have to change and I have to know how to deal with workplace behaviors better, so I am reading articles like yours and books about company culture and team culture (‘coz I can’t afford to job-hop as much). One of the books that I found helpful and easy to understand is Dianne Crampton’s book on how to build an ethical, quality focused and successful work team (www.tigersamongus.com).

TIGERS Among Us is a how-to book on how to build a winning team, decrease workplace conflict, and how to get your staff on board with your company’s goals.

So hopefully, more and more people from CEOs to the “just as important staff” will learn more ideas on how to create more humane workplaces with high productivity and creativity. All the best!

[Liorsion]

You got me :) I've heard about your book a few times, even read some quotes but hadn't have the time to order it (can't get it here) - I'm on my way to get it now.

I think I saw something reference about the fact that people are never the assholes themselves.. what are your thoughts on that?

[Gwen Books]

I could have contributed a chapter or 2 to Good Boss Bad Boss!
gwenda