Being a Good Boss is Pretty Damn Hard: Reflections on Publication Day

Today, September 7th, is the official publication day of Good Boss, Bad Boss.  I've got an hour or so before I need to run to the airport, and find myself looking back on what I've learned from writing the book, talking to people since the book was finished some months back, and all the blogging and comments (especially here at Work Matters and over at HBR Online where I have been developing my list of 12 Things Good Bosses Believe).

The thing I've been fretting over most lately is how hard it is to be a good boss -- the job is never done, it is amazingly easy to screw-up, and wielding power over others makes it all even harder because you are being watched so closely (and are prone to tuning-out your followers -- the other half of the toxic tandem).  Yet, despite all these hurdles, the best evidence shows that many, if not most, people find their bosses to be competent and compassionate.  And most bosses I know work extremely hard and are dedicated to improving their skills.  Indeed, one of my main motivations for writing Good Boss, Bad Boss was that so many of the managers and executives who I spoke with and who wrote me in response to The No Asshole Rule were so concerned about becoming better at practicing their difficult craft.

When I think of the bosses that I admire and want to be around versus those that I despise and want to avoid if at all possible, the main factor is not their skill at the moment.  Rather, it is whether or not they care and are working on core questions like:

1. What does it feel like to work for me? 

2. How can get more "in tune" with my followers, peers, bosses, customers, and other people who I deal with?

3. What are my weaknesses and strengths?  What can I do to attenuate my weaknesses -- what do I need to learn and who can I work with to best offset my drawbacks and blind spots?

In contrast, people who are arrogant and suffering power poisoning -- and never admit their weaknesses, let alone try to overcome or dampen them -- are in my view, the worst of the worst, regardless of past accomplishments  Yes, as I emphasize on this blog and in Chapter 2, the best bosses need to act like they are in charge, to instill confidence in others and themselves.  But the bosses I want to be around  (and that I believe will triumph in the long run) have the attitude of wisdom, or as rocker Tom Petty put it, are confident but not really sure.

That's what I am thinking about; I would be curious to hear your perspective on the kinds of bosses you want to be and be around.

Comments

[Rowena Co]

Lifelong learners lose less-- a good boss catches up in time and in different situations, bringing things forward and considers people's feelings important.

[Stacy]

Why is it a badthing if he/she "try(tries) to overcome" their weaknesses? Wouldn't that be the best way to deal with weaknesses? Hmmm.

[Human Being]

'Boss' is an interesting phrase by it self. Does a term Boss mean lot more to some than others? Would it be a question of perspective than a limitation of responsibilities? Would it be an indication of a power status or symbolic representation of power either due to superior knowledge or experience? Is a boss expected to lead always and not follow? Is the boss supposed to be in control in all situations?
Please excuse me for taking an absolute novice approach, but i guess someone should actually define and describe the term 'BOSS'.

[mark allen roberts]

I find leaders, the good ones are in the back of the boat quietly steering.

I look forward to reading your book and blogging about it.

We find a Good Boss in the book delivering happiness as I discuss in my blog post http://nosmokeandmirrors.wordpress.com/2010/07/09/delivering-happiness-proof-%e2%80%a6the-%e2%80%9cgolden-rule%e2%80%9d-is-profitable/

At the end of the day, we must set out to be a Good Boss, and that requires intentional actions and focus. Its not about us, its about serving our internal and external customers.

Great post

Mark Allen Roberts

[Felix]

I think this line has the answer
The best bosses aren't necessarily the ones with the most skill; they're the ones who care about improving their weaknesses, Bob Sutton writes.

Only rephrased to
"The best bosses aren't necessarily the ones with the most skill; they're the ones who care about improving weaknesses." Bob Sutton writes.

[Phillip Turner]

...in addition, some of the most complicated yet successful things in life are never ending projects. Learning is never ending as well so even though it is never ending you gain a great deal of knowledge along the way to improve the skills you bring to the table.

[Phillip Turner]

Wow, excellent article. i have def. personally ran into better bosses that ask the questions of how they are doing and what I feel could have been different. Def. not always about being in power which I have seen much at my work place, the "power poison". This article should be given to companies to read world wide ha. I am going to look at this perspective for my own management in the future.

[Derak Berreyesa]

I agree that one of the main concerns any boss has is worrying if his employees like him or not. I think any professional in a power position who is not in fact an "asshole" has this concern. Teachers deal with this issue a lot as well. But, good teachers in the long run want their students to learn rather than like them. Just as a good boss wants the company to run smoothly and jobs to get done, rather than for his employees to like him.

[Thomas]

I was vaguely puzzled the last time you mentioned Tom Petty. And I don't listen to the radio very often, so I hadn't heard the lyric. But I just looked it up, and, hmmm, I'm not sure Petty is suggesting that "confident but not really sure" = "wisdom".

quote

No headroom for expansion no more
And there's a corner of the floor
They're telling you is yours
You're confident but not really sure

And it's hard to say
Who you are these days
But you run on anyway
Don't you baby?

You keep running for another place
To find that saving grace

unquote

I do know of bosses who fit that bill (i.e., who seem to feel that way). But I wouldn't call them wise.

Or am I missing something?

[Project Management]

"good boss" is one of the major key to a great team, though it is not that easy and often concluded as a biased position, and sometimes it becomes a reason why employees are not that accurate in their performance, they tend to rely to their boss so much its the "superman idea" that makes it harder.

[Wally Bock]

Great book, Bob, and a must-read for any working boss. Let me add two observations to what you've written above.

First, when I studied top-performing supervisors, one characteristic behavior of the great ones was that they asked for feedback. Art Jones was the best supervisor I ever saw in action. I spent several shifts a year with him over several years. At the end of every one he would ask the same question: "What did you see tonight that I could have done better?"

You're right that the work is hard and never-ending. But the great ones revel in it. They understand it as the most satisfying job in the world and one that you're never done learning.