More on Hard Times and Friendly Bosses

I wrote a post a couple weeks back about some intriguing (although flawed) surveys that suggest the downturn may have resulted in better relationships between employees and their bosses.   An article just came out at Human Resource Executive called "Is the Recession Making the Boss Friendlier" that digs further into these rather surprising findings and quotes some of my arguments about why relationships may have improved better, especially that incompetent bosses of all kinds may have been shown the door as part of the workforce cuts that so many organizations have made.  I was rather disturbed, however, by an argument at the end of the article by a management consultant that seems to be arguing for the virtues of tough bosses -- and that downplays the importance of compassion, treating people with respect, and treating them with dignity.  The article says:

But Alan Weiss, an organizational development consultant, author, and president of Summit Consulting Group Inc. in East Greenwich, Conn., says the results of the two surveys won't change one simple fact.

"The role of a boss is not to be friendly, but to direct, give instruction, lead and make hard decisions. You can't give honest and tough evaluations to friends," he says.

The lesson for HR is simple, he says: "Help managers to manage, not to merely try to influence; help employees understand that a tough boss who helps them succeed is far better than a friendly one who just wants to be 'one of the crowd.' "

Alan's last line bugs because it sets up a false choice, sort of like arguing that it is better to be kicked in the head than to have your eye poked out.  Yes, all good bosses need to do tough things -- negative feedback, giving people assignments they don't want, and implementing firings and layoffs when need be.   But as I have written here before, write in Good Boss, Bad Boss, and talk about at the McKinsey site, there is a difference between what a boss does and how he or she does it,  The best bosses do the dirty work with humanity and compassion. And providing support to people to help them succeed includes a big dose of emotional support. 

Bosses who push for performance above all else and don't give a hoot about the dignity and respect of their people do a poor job of developing their people and -- as much research shows -- will be condemned to have subordinates who are less likely to make an extra effort to work harder and longer and who leave for new jobs at higher rates,   Yes, I agree with Alan that your boss isn't always your friend (but sometimes this does happen, and it can be a good thing) -- but I get sick and tired of people who celebrate tough and heartless bosses.  I don't want to work for one and, as much research shows, most employees don.t want to either. And, as I have suggested here before, a hallmark of such bosses who do succeed is that they pair up with a "toxic handler" or two to soothe those they damage and to clean up the messes they leave in their wake. 

Comments

[Mirela]

Bob, do you have any evidence about the impact of the crisis on the office politics as well? Do the bosses help their directs more to get better at politics in these tough times, be it only for getting more support in the workplace?

I am very interested in knowing your opinion, thanks a lot.

[William Cunningham]

Bob,

I agree entirely with your post. I'd much rather work for a boss that demonstrates compassion and appreciation than a boss that is cold and mechanical. The emotional support from a good boss can help alleviate stress and satisfy basic human needs, leading to a stronger sense of dedication and duty. I strongly believe that people work harder, and thus produce more and better results, when they like their boss, and a cold dicision-making machine is hardly something I enjoy taking orders from. Thank you for your insight!

[Casey O'Looney]

Hi Bob,

Thank you for another great blog post. I agree that bosses should not be their employees friend. Just like we don't want parents who are more concerned with being their kids BFF than teaching and mentoring, we also don't want bosses who are more interested in being buddies than mentoring and grooming new professionals.

I recently accepted a new job and one of the biggest influencers wasn't the paycheck or the company name, but who I would be working for. Was it someone who would be an effective leader and teach me? Like the Paula Cole song, "Where have all the cowboys Gone?", many employees are wondering "Where have all the leaders gone?"

[Mary Jo Asmus]

Bob,

You might be interested to know that the Center for Creative Leadership discovered that only one of the three FIRO-B (an assessment that measures expression and desire for inclusion, control, and affection) dimensions differentiated the top quartile of leaders from the bottom quartile. Many people might believe the popular assumption that those leaders who readily express control are the most effective. Indeed, this is not what CCL found in their study. Rather, the single factor that differentiated top leaders from those at the bottom was affection – how much a leader expresses it, as well as how much a leader wants affection.

Of course, I realize that wanting and expressing affection may not prevent a boss from being respectful or compassionate. However, I'd like to believe that chances are that if affection is important to them, they have learned to be respectful and compassionate.

[Marie Wiere]

Bob,

Thank you for an interesting post. I was some what surprised by the article that questioned whether bosses were getting friendlier in this economy. In my experience, many bosses are becoming more complacent in this economy and not paying as much attention to how they treat their employees, assuming they are more replaceable than in the past.

I disagree with Alan Weiss' opinion and believe it's important for bosses to treat their employees with dignity and respect. Now is the time to build strong boss-employee relationships to better ensure your people don't leave once the economy picks up and their options increase.