Dear Work Matters readers,
As I am getting toward the end of our long effort to write "Scaling Up Excellence" with Huggy Rao, I am starting to do a bit of blogging and tweeting again. As part of it, I got an interesting email from a guy named Ben about a really awful battle over verbal abuse on something called the Linux kernel mailing list -- look here, bad stuff. Ben asked me an interesting question I would like your help with: Which organizations actually have "no asshole" rules? Do they work? How do they implement them. I haven't been thinking about this much lately as I am focused on scaling. I did update the post below in early 2012, but I wonder if folks have any suggestions for places I should add -- or subtract. It seems like something worth maintaining. Thanks so much!
Bob
A reporter asked me a couple years back, “The No Asshole Rule is fun to talk about, but does anyone ever actually use it?” It turns out that there is also a lot good news out here, lots of great leaders and many civilized places that people can work.
I wrote an initial list back then, and I update it every now and then. This is the latest, which I offer in celebration of Work Matters passing 2,000,000 pageviews and the impending publication of Good Boss, Bad Boss in paperback.
This list is far from exhaustive, but check out the breadth of places and the different ways that the rule is used. And if you work in a company that has the rule, that uses it well or has tried to implement it, but with limited success, I would love to hear about.
Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway As Buffett's right-hand man and long-time Berkshire Hathaway Vice-Chairman Charlie Munger puts it in Snowball "We had the no asshole rule very early. Our basic rule is that we don't deal with assholes." Check out this post for more details and thoughts
SPM Communications. Principal Suzanne Miller won a national contest for women-owned business, in part because her company applies the no-jerk rule to both employees and customers. As the Dallas Morning News reported:
“It struck a chord with the judges and audience,” she said. “Everyone has worked somewhere crappy."
Ms. Miller described the contest as “American Idol for businesswomen.” About 900 applicants from around the country were whittled down to 20 finalists who assembled in Phoenix to present their cases before an audience and a panel of judges.
“Part of the competition was to give a three-minute elevator speech on how we’re different and why we’ll reach the mark,” Ms. Miller said. Like the TV talent show, the contestants ran through a rehearsal, got ripped apart by coaches and then performed for real the next day. Ms. Miller basically got her spiel down to nine words: "Life is too short to work with mean people."
2tor: This online education company is serious about the rule; the media toned things down, but the use the A-word in their materials:
The company is proud of its hard-working, but fun culture and hires based on both job qualifications and character. The company handbook says, "when you're hiring someone, don't trade off competence for character -- we need people with both." The quotation comes under a heading in the handbook that could be paraphrased as "No Jerks Allowed."
Robert W. Baird. This financial services firm was first #39 on Fortune's 2008 Best Places to Work list. Now, they are up to #11. Fortune asked in 2008 "What makes it so great?" And they answered 'They tout "the no asshole rule" at this financial services firm; candidates are interviewed extensively, even by assistants who will be working for them." Since I first learned about Baird, I have spoken to multiple people from the company, including CEO Paul Purcell, who enforces the rules with zest and humor. Here are some of the details.
Barclays Capital. They don’t use the word “asshole,” because they are, after all, a respectable financial institution! BusinessWeek reports:
“Hotshots who alienate colleagues are told to change or leave. "We have a 'no jerk' rule around here," says Chief Operating Officer Rich Ricci.”
IDEO: The iconic innovation has used the rule for as long as I can remember, from its founding in 1979. And I've seem them use it in all sorts of ways during my 15 year plus involvement with the place. As their Careers FAQ page advises (and note they are kind enough to plug this blog):
Talented and diverse people: We hire talented design thinkers who represent many perspectives, disciplines, nationalities, and points of view. We believe a civilized workplace is a more rigorous and sustainable place to work, so we don’t hire jerks. (Please see The No Asshole Rule by Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and IDEO Fellow, or read his blog.) We provide ways to share knowledge and projects among our people, believing that we all work better and learn more when we freely interact and collaborate with other talented people.
The Disbarred Lawyer. The Village Voice tells us that attorney Kenny Heller might be the most obnoxious in New York City and that the powers that be finally had enough of his antics:
‘After 50 years of heaping abuse on everyone within earshot and hurling accusations of conspiracies, "favoritism," and "cronyism" at countless judges and lawyers, the 77-year-old Heller has earned this distinction: No other lawyer in the city but Heller, according to records of his disciplinary hearing, has been ousted for "obstructive and offensive behavior which did not involve fraud or deception."’
‘Heller was disbarred for basically "being an asshole," as one adversary puts it. And in their profession, the rival adds, "that takes some doing."’
Lloyd Gosselink and Perkins Coie. Lawyers may earn their bad reputations at times, but I have been pleasantly surprised by how many firms espouse and enforce “no asshole rules.” Joshua de Koning, is firm Administrator of Lloyd Gosselink Blevins Rochelle & Townsend, which is located in Austin, Texas. He wrote me a few years back:
“I ordered my copy of The No Asshole Rule a couple of weeks ago from Amazon.com and am enjoying it thoroughly. The title caught my attention, not just because it's a great title, but because our firm has had the exact same rule (phrased in exactly the same way) since it's founding in 1984.”
They are not alone. Perkins Coie, a national law firm that with headquarters in Seattle has applied the “no jerk rule” for years, which has helped the firm to be named one of “the Top 100 Best Companies to Work for” five years in a row. See this story at Human Resources Executive Online for more about how the rule works at Perkins Coie (and other nuances of the rule).
Sterling Foundation Management. Sterling helps wealthy individuals establish and management private foundations. CEO and co-founder Roger D. Sterling wrote me, after “stumbling” on The No Asshole Rule that:
‘This is a principle that I was told about early in my career as "Never do business with an Asshole," and which we have since adopted. We've applied it to both clients and employees, to greatly beneficial effect. I would reckon it of equal or greater worth than present value analysis, which I must have been taught a dozen times in the course of getting to a Ph.D. in applied economics.’
Gold’s Gym. Joe Gold was founder of the famous gym that produced multiple body building champions, including a certain future film star and California governor named Arnold. His management philosophy was:
“To keep it simple you run your gym like you run your house. Keep it clean and in good running order. No jerks allowed, members pay on time and if they give you any crap, throw them out. There's peace where there's order."
The Wine Buyer. The belief that the no asshole rule ought to be applied to customers can be seen in many industries. A California wine buyer explained how he applies the rule:
“In my business, we have a rule that says that a customer can either be an arsehole (I'm English originally) or a late pay, but not both. We have reduced stress considerably by excluding some customers on this basis.”
A related concept is “asshole taxes:” I know people in occupations ranging from plumber to management consultant who don’t “fire” asshole customers, but charge them substantially hire fees as “battle pay” for enduring the abuse.
Bible Studies Class. This one still amazes me more than any other experience that I’ve had since publishing the book. I’ve written about it before, but no list of different places where the rule has been discussed and used would be complete without it. Psychology Professor Richard Beck wrote a post called "1 Corinthians and The No Asshole Rule." He starts out:
'Two weeks ago it was my turn to teach my adult Bible class at church. We are going through 1 Corinthians and I was up to teach the famous Chapter 13, "Love is patient, love is kind..."
And I thought to myself, "Richard, what are you possibly going to say in class that hasn't been said before about 1 Corinthians 13?"
Then it hit me. I started the class by doing a book review and reading selections from Dr. Robert Sutton's new book The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't.
Beck concludes:
'So, we reflected on all this in my Sunday School class. And after reflection on the No Asshole Rule, I read these famous words:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs..."
Basically, don't be an asshole
Arup’s “No Dickhead Rule.” Arup is one of the most renowned construction engineering firms in the world; in fact, they were recently profiled in The New Yorker (Check out this abstract for the ‘The Anti-Gravity Men”). Look at this beautiful Kinas TV building the worked in Beijing. As I wrote here, Robert Care, CEO of the Arup’s Australian and Asian operations recently wrote me that they instituted the “no dickhead rule” in his part of the firm:
"I work for a truly wonderful professional services company that is truly extraordinary and that is doing really well in many many ways. Three years ago I became the CEO of our Australasian operation. It occurred to me that there was an issue (not just in the Australasian part of our operations) that needed to be dealt with. I then heard something in September 2005 that started me thinking, and then talking to my close colleagues. They encouraged me to speak more widely in my organisation and eventually we evolved a 'no dickhead policy'. "
I recently had an email from Care; He reports that he is now heading ARUP's operations in Europe and that he has introduced the "No Jerk Rule" as the word "Dickhead" didn't fit with local sensibilities, but the rule is pretty much the same.
Mozilla (which brings us the Firefox browser): Asa Dotzler a product director, leader of many efforts to spread Firefix, and a stalwart of the company and open source software movement explained to me what it isn't efficient to be an asshole at Mozilla, or in the open source world in general. As Asa explained, the work they do requires so much cooperation with each other and with people from outside the company (many of whom are volunteers, who do the coding or marketing Firefox out love for the product and what it represents about a participative and decentralized approach to the Internet), that acting like an asshole is rare because it is so downright dumb when you need so much mutual respect and trust to get the work done.
Index, a Danish Nonprofit: Their goal is to use "design to improve life." The CEO Kigge Hvid wrote me "One of our few management mottos has from the start been, KEEP OUT THE ASSHOLES. " She went on to explain:
The motto has lucky been used quite seldom. I guess that we for the last 5 years have used the motto 5-6 times – even though we work with thousands of people around the globe every year. When used we simply calls the asshole - meet with the asshole - and tell them to go play somewhere else. I my self have taken great pleasure in making these calls to a few powerful decision makers, on the basis of their brutal treatment of people working with INDEX.
Former Gillette CEO Jim Kilts advises: "Never Hire a Prick" in his book. Kilts argues that one of the practices that fueled Gillette's success during the years he led the company was "Never Hire a Prick, Even a Smart One." And, indeed, Kilts has an impressive track record, having led turnarounds at both Nabisco and Gillette. Kilts talks about how how "pricks" are smug self promoters and are destructive to the organization, and him it is essential to avoid hiring them or to drive them out of a company. As he says, they can get short-term results, but they break down people and organizations over the long haul.
Ian Telfe, CEO of Goldcorp in Canada, reported spending a lot of time enforcing the rule:
There is a bestseller right now called The No Asshole Rule. It is all about: 'Don't hire any assholes.' So I spend a lot of time picking who we're going to hire. You need someone with technical qualifications, but you also have to find someone who can work with other people and respect other people.
Garry Turdeau Womps Donald Trump with the rule in Doonesbury: You can read about it here and get to the whole cartoon.
Michael Minns Human Resources in Australia. The have a "no dickheads policy" too, which is described in quite a bit of detail on the link, along with a metric that shows it is working" "It’s the best place I’ve ever worked at, in fact it is so good that I don’t need an alarm clock to get up in the morning".
Crossfit Gym at Virgina Beach. Check of this article on the "The Asshole Barrier." This quote sums things up:
The waiver at CrossFit VB states, “CrossFit Virginia Beach strives to provide a positive and encouraging environment for our clients. Anyone that is disruptive or negatively influences this environment is subject to having their membership revoked. This is at the sole discretion of CrossFit Virginia Beach Management.” The word “asshole” isn’t used, but Gill says she frequently tells clients that “it’s basically an asshole clause.”
The diversity of this list delights me. Sure, there are still too many jerks out there and too many organizations (and apparently cities) where every day feels like a walk down Asshole Avenue. But there are also a lot of smart and civilized people who are fighting back and, better yet, winning. I’d love your comments. In particular, as I said, if you have some new examples of places that talk about and apply the rule, please tell me!
Finally, a warning, I have dealt with a number of companies over the years that espouse an no asshole rule, or want to, but are filled with assholes. In such case, it isn't a good idea to put the no asshole rule in your corporate values, handbooks, or recruiting materials because you risk being seen as both an asshole and a hypocrite.
P.S. These examples focus mostly on “top down changes,” but organizational norms can also change when persistent and influential people work to set the right example and to point out – even in public – when behavior happens that demonstrates the wrong way to behave.
A good example of this comes from a British manager who wrote me that he works in a firm that is infested with assholes, but since he read The No Asshole Rule, he and several colleagues are working to change their norms. He described one of the most effective methods as follows:
‘I now attend a lot of management meetings where I have started to introduce the idea of a civilized work place and that we lose available efficiency and effectiveness due to people being de-motivated. When I am now faced with negativity or an "Asshole" I have started to use a new approach of: “surely you don’t want us to breed that type of feeling in the business or listen to what you just said.” I have found this head on approach very successful.’
Carnegie Mellon University has an offbeat student organization called KGB who hosts one game of Capture the Flag with Stuff per semester. It's rather complex, but the main rule of the game, known to players as Rule 0, is simple: Don't be a jackass. If you scroll down to the bottom of the rules, it's in bold in the largest font of any of them.
Link: http://www.cmukgb.org/activities/ctfws/full.php
Posted by: Reillyn | August 21, 2013 at 08:12 AM
Dear Dr. Sutton,
At our company, we have introduced “Results, Relationships, and Impact” as the core expectations for all employees. The “Relationships and Impact” expectations rely heavily on the concepts you laid out in “The No Asshole Rule.”
The “Results” part has its roots in the Results-Only Work Environment (ROWE). The gist of ROWE is that it doesn’t matter how you do your work, when you do your work, or where you do your work, just that you produce results. What this concept lacked, however, is the understanding that there are some aspects of how work gets done that matter a great deal. We do care how our customers are treated. We do care how co-workers treat each other. We do care about performing quality work in an ethical way. Results-only cannot mean results at any cost. That is where relationships and impact come in. Results matter, but we do not and will not reward or accept behavior that generates results at the expense of building relationships and having a positive impact.
Central to the expectations of Relationships and Impact is a commitment to building a civilized work place. We will not tolerate jerks, bullies, or Eeyores. We avoid hiring individuals that exhibit this behavior, we do not reward those who produce results through this behavior and, in extreme cases, we have dismissed employees who choose to continue this behavior.
At the senior management level, we started talking about, and to some extent using, these concepts about two years ago. We broadened that conversation to include the entire company about a year ago. There are two concrete steps we’ve taken to implement this:
• It is OK and increasingly expected that employees confront behavior that is intentionally hurtful and negative. To that end, we have provided peer-to-peer feedback training for employees at all levels.
• We now have a member of senior management interview every potential new hire for cultural fit.
It hasn’t always been easy, but we are beginning to see a change for the positive. Thank you for being a big part of our inspiration for this change.
Posted by: Russ Helms | February 29, 2012 at 09:34 AM
I think the book is great. Sadly, the assertion that "it does not pay to be an asshole in open-source world" is not true. It may be true of Mozilla specifically, I don't have experience with them, but not of the community as a whole. Just witness the effort (successful, but with a lot of objections/resistance still) to create a conference anti-harassment policy, which came as a result of a long series of incidents. That's the main reason very few women are in open source software, the environment is often really hostile.
http://geekfeminism.org/2011/12/06/example-conference-anti-harassment-policy-turns-one-year-old/
I personally think the open source world as a whole would benefit enormously from applying the "no asshole rule".
Posted by: MD | February 08, 2012 at 02:01 PM
Bob,
wonderful book, short but perfect length. I noticed one notable instuitution missing in your list: Stanford. Beyond your department, are your principles adopted there as well?
Posted by: S Romig | January 31, 2012 at 02:56 PM
Bob, this book was beyond awesome. I quoted you today in my post www.thegazellegoal.com I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for what you do. Remy Gervais, The Gazelle Goal
Posted by: Remy Gervais | August 14, 2011 at 03:52 PM
Bob - I work for a Fortune 500 firm. I had a lot of fun reading your book and thinking of examples of the behaviors described that fit people in my company. As I shared with colleagues I realized I was not alone in observing these behaviors. I've started buying your book and mailing it to the most flagrant offenders (yes, anonymously). It may never accomplish anything, but it makes me feel better! Several colleagues have started doing the same thing - perhaps the message will sink in with a grass roots effort.
Posted by: Nein Butzheadz | July 07, 2011 at 01:58 PM
Hi Bob!
I know everyone above me have addressed you as Mr. Sutton, but your book certainly provided me great insights on how to go about my daily tasks at work. Your insights, research and personal experience have somehow made me feel that you were somewhat of a colleague more than just an author of a best selling book. I am working as a Director of Operations in a company with 600 employees in 2 locations, and I was hugely convicted when you mentioned that being a jerk is sometimes being heralded, especially if they are good at what they do. This taught me to think that "assholedom" should really be treated as incompetence. Your book changed the way I look at things everyday, and you have no idea how this allows me to do better at my job and influence others to do the same.
The No Asshole Rule is now one of the best books I've ever read in my lifetime. You do great work and treat people well. It will never be one without the other!
Posted by: Barbie | July 03, 2011 at 02:04 AM
It's really more of a question. I am currently working on a team to design and promote "strategic compensation" in the school system. On page 74 of The No Asshole Rule you state that ...when the difference between the highest paid and lowest paid...where can I find the host of studies to support that? I think it's a really bad idea but the government (Race to the Top) is requiring it. Thank you.
Posted by: Deborah Edgar | May 03, 2011 at 06:53 AM
"No Asshole Rules" is really a fantastic book which has lots of sattires as well. Actually I love book with sattires, that's why this book attracted me so much.
Posted by: Binaraga | November 09, 2010 at 11:32 PM
I watched a major Silicon Valley implode because despite a wonderful, serviceful product line, it was pervaded by assholes - and their targets. On the flip side, I've lived in yoga-based communities for 34 of my 68 years. Meetings and management here are harmonious to a degree that "outsiders" would probably find incredible. My message to the many commenters who suffer under assholes is that life is too short to simply endure, or to hope to change assholes. In the Ananda communities, I've seen that assholes always self-select themselves out. They can't stand being in the company of so many positive people. If you see a hope of creating that kind of positively weighted atmosphere, fine - gather your forces and wage war. But if the organization is stacked with unrepentant assholes, get out. Research at Heartmath Foundation (and elsewhere) shows that the negative attitudes of others have serious health consequences for ourselves. Is it truly your karma to suffer? If not, leave!
Posted by: runbei | November 04, 2010 at 12:50 PM
Dear Suton the book is great good points but the real problem is the system I have had older people over the years say that companys look for the guys that get the most pleasure out tormenting others. The people they know that will belittle employees and keep them in control they don't want the Boss to become budys with there co-workers and they don't want them to treat them as equals so how do you change the system.
Posted by: David | October 17, 2010 at 06:39 PM
After years of hearing the words fag and faggot directed at me, I verbally lashed out at my supervisor when I heard her use the word. I'm being accused of bullying a supervisor. I'm a gay man and the supervisor is a woman. You mentioned in your book that 3%(?) of bullying is not from co-workers or superiors. Who are these people who bully up?
Posted by: eli clyne | April 26, 2009 at 11:58 AM
I came over to this site from reading about the author's recent intro to a new "Peter Principle" edition. It's a fascinating thought to consider the promotion of assholes to their level of incompetence; is it their assholeness that worsens the incompetence, or does their continual failure to do their "Final Placement" job make them more vindictive assholes? Or both?
Posted by: Brian H | April 03, 2009 at 07:36 AM
And at Wikipedia and other Wikimedia projects, it's "Don't be a dick".
Posted by: Chriswaterguy | March 08, 2009 at 10:32 AM
I disagree with the comments below claiming the workplace will never change, that "The No Asshole Rule" is a nice effort but in vain.
Our R&D group in our human services company formally introduced a number of concepts, among them Human Sigma and No Asshole Rule (which became required reading among management). While we made some good initial progress, these efforts in the end came to almost nothing. What we discovered is that few managers read the book, or bothered to learn about Human Sigma for that matter. Apathy, "not my idea so I don't like it," a lot of reasons.
Rather than shrug our shoulders in frustration and surrender to the paralysis of those around us, all of the key members of this R&D group left in December to start our own venture.
Positive progress in the human aspects of organizational development may seem so slow as to not be taking place, but don't be discouraged. We are not the only ones who have been inspired to action by efforts like "The No Asshole Rule." Eventually a large number of "asshole-proof" businesses will spring up, offering a work environments in keeping with our intelligence.
Posted by: Gary Smith | February 10, 2009 at 09:13 AM
Dear Mr. Sutton - two days ago I was fired from an employment and labor law firm before my probationary period was even up. I worked for two assholes. One was a Type A, narcissistic yeller and screamer, the other was a very indifferent, unfriendly and cold female. I was told by the managing partner, when he hired me, that they did not tolerate "jerks". Obviously, he was lying. In any event, from the standpoint of a worker and not a professional executive, I now, after 25 years in the legal field, have come to realize that we workers will NEVER have any rights. We will never be protected by management and the best we can do is pray that we can fly under the radar. I could write volumes on the abuses I have been subjected to by countless lawyers over the last 25 years and I truly understand why people go postal and end up going on a killing spree out of frustration and anger. A human being can only take so much and until there is real legislation that is seriously enforced, the worker will just have to endure the oppressive treatment of those who have more power over them. The corporate culture in America is akin to legal slavery. I can only say that I am happy to be in my 50's and not in my 20's or 30's. I think I'd shoot myself. I wish everyone would read your book and apply it's principles but that is highly unlikely. Even some of the companies you say who use the No Asshole Rule ... I wouldn't say that until I could send a spy to work at some of these companies for at least a year, and I don't mean an executive or manager, I mean a secretary or other staff member. That is where you will find the abuse. You have a great philosophy, but unfortunately, I doubt it will ever be applied across the board in all fields of work.
Posted by: Trixiebelle | November 15, 2008 at 08:28 PM
Dear Mr. Sutton,
I'm not signing this comment because I'm to scared to risk to be recognized. I'm an Italian fan of your fantastic book "No asshole rule". It's the best thing that I've ever read about companies, management and running a business.
First of all, I want to sorry for my English, and the mistakes that for sure I'm gonna do.
The problem is that I'm in a slightly different situation form that you describe. I'm one of the two partners of the company, and I've discovered to be running my business with a complete asshole.
before opening this company, we were working together as colleagues and she was great, A person that I used to see as pigmalione, as a mentor. But form the moment that we became partners, she changed completely. Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Now I really don't know What to do and how to go on. Leaving my part of the company it0s not so easy, not impossible of course....but difficult, very difficult with all the bureaucracy that we have here in Italy. But this situation is driving me mad, and I'm not joking. My self-confidence, my proudness are going down every day. I'm not eating so much and I don't quite sleep at night without "a help". I want to cry all the time and my energies to react are finished.
My partner is all you describe in your book, It's like you've written thinking about her.
What do you suggest? Kill her or kill myself?
Posted by: ItalianAssholeVictim | May 27, 2008 at 06:00 AM
While I love your book, I don't see it making much of a difference in the workplace.
I'll explain why in a moment, but first, let me say that I have direct experience with an "asshole" as defined by Dr. Sutton. I think I can guess with much accuracy that Ms. "Debra Probable Marketing Person" below probably uses "utilize" and "impact" (as a verb) and "branding" way too much. Based on what she's written, I can surmise that she knows nothing about this subject other than what she just read on this blog. I figure Debra for an asshole herself, which is a common malady among marketing people, in my experience. Most of them can't tell their, uhhh, asshole from a hole in the ground. I would encourage her to read more on this subject. She's like those people who used to scoff at the problems of priest-to-child sexual abuse and similar such "hidden social epidemics." On the other hand, I think Kevin Bush, whose comments also appear below, has hit the target dead-on.
Let me explain that several of my colleagues and I were victimized by a maniacal, bi-polar asshole for about 10 years. MY personal antagonist personifies the term "asshole." Luckily, about six years ago, I was able to escape her clutches, but she continues to make my former colleagues' lives miserable. We've all suffered emotionally and physically from the stress of working with Ms. Asshole.
Over the past decade, I've read nearly everything I can on this subject. Occasionally, I'll come across a new "list of asshole characteristics," which propose to help people identify who is truly an asshole and who's merely a jerk. My antagonist meets virtually every one of the criteria on every list I've ever seen.
Her asshole actions range from small slights -- like never acknowledging a co-worker she's passing in a long, narrow hallway, even first thing in the morning, to the larger -- like threatening to kill a subordinate, and worse.
Your book has helped raise awareness, and I'm sure more people have applied some thought to the subject as a result of reading it, although, of course, true assholes would never see themselves in its pages.
As a survivor (which neither you nor Gary Namie can claim); a close, first-hand observer (which you can't claim, Dr. Sutton); and a long-time student of the subject in question, I think I speak with some authority, and I'd submit that the only problem I find with your book is the use of the word "asshole."
Although I don't personally object to the USE of the word (my daughters thought I invented it), I have the same problem with "asshole" that I have with its counterpart from the Namie group -- "bully."
Here's the problem, as I see it -- When you tell upper management that you're having a problem with a "bully," even if he/she seems to be sympathetic, they consider you a cry-baby who can't take the pressure of the business world. They're used to hearing that word in only one context -- as it's used on the playground.
If instead, you label the offender an "asshole," those you're complaining to either question your ability to express yourself, or you find later that they never take such an allegation to a higher-up, especially if they're a "good Christian" -- as many "unseeing" managers profess to be here in the Midwest. So your case is dead the first time you tell it. Even if you can produce pages of documentation about the asshole's actions, no one will take it seriously enough if you use either the term "asshole" or "bully." Although I love the term, and I love your book, I don't believe it will do anything to curb the abuse of employees in the U.S. workplace by assholes.
We simply need another descriptive term. I don't HAVE that term -- I only know that we don't have it yet. I can tell you this, because I've tried and seen it tried by others -- you do not get serious attention from a COO, CEO, or any of their direct-reports when you use the term "bully" or "asshole."
By the way, ANY attempt to improve your situation by dealing directly with the asshole is doomed to failure. I've seen only one result from going to the asshole directly -- bad. That is, unless you're a minority. And I'm not criticizing minorities. It takes courage to confront a bully. The problem is that most assholes are well-versed about what they CAN and CAN'T get away with. And most bullies know that even in so-called "right-to-work" states, you don't mess with minorities because they're protected from discrimination by law. Also, I believe assholes invariably have psychological issues, so you may as well try to reason with Charlie Manson.
Our only hope is legislation like that which has been enacted in a few countries (and in Quebec, I believe?). So in a sense, I think both "asshole" and "bully," while helping to bring awareness to this cause, should be scrapped, as they now seem to be trivializing the issue.
Unfortunately, I'll die before I see any positive action in this arena in the U.S. (But I did just get a good laugh out of picturing George Bush supporting "anti-asshole" legislation.)
Posted by: Steve Marcus | April 17, 2008 at 09:12 PM
I wish a book like this had fallen into my hands years ago. Things were so low for me at one point in time that I fantasized about the best way I could "off" the assholes and get away with it (yes, I was that low). Now, things are better and I have adapted. I do not fight assholes because to do so only encourages them that their stance is correct, and they become bigger assholes. I do not support assholes and the logic of that statement should be self-evident. Now, I ignore assholes. That is the only solution to survive. Thank God I am nearly done and getting closer to retirement.
P.S. The outfit I work for has recently commissioned an outside firm, at the cost of several million dollrs, to determine why things are so lousy with employee productivity (hint, maybe they should abandon their mission statement which says that "the beatings will continue until morale improves").
Posted by: olive | February 17, 2008 at 10:56 AM
The book changed my life. Literally. After living 6 sleepless months under the draconian regime of a certified "asshole" I decided that it was my professional responsibility to speak up on behalf of my subordinates as well as myself. After voicing my concerns through the obvious channels, word got back to my manager of my complaints and I was fired for displaying "an ingrained sense of self-importance." At least now I know that the no asshole rule did not apply in that organization. I may be unemployed for the moment, but at least I'm not an asshole. Thanks to your book, I'm much better prepared to spot one when I see one next time. And I'll steer clear.
Posted by: Bossy Bosserton | February 12, 2008 at 12:13 PM